Many couples that I meet with often express that they aren’t feeling loved and appreciated by their partner. In my opinion, most conflict in any relationship stems from lack of communication and then becomes complicated by other resulting factors. One thing for us all to remember is that individuals tend to communicate their love in different ways. Some people communicate love through words (“I love you”, “I’m proud of you”) while others communicate through physical contact i.e. hugs, kisses, physical intimacy. Others communicate their love through doing things for the other person such as cooking a meal for them or filling their car with gas each week and others demonstrate their love through spending quality time together i.e. booking a yearly winter vacation, having a movie night every Friday night. Others express their love through gift-giving.
If we learn to understand our partner’s preferred way of communicating and receiving love, we can move away from the idea that the way that WE are most comfortable communicating our love is the ONLY way! An excellent resource that explains this theory is the 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman, there is a questionnaire in the book that assists you in discovering your dominant love language as well as your partner’s!
Enjoy the sunny day!